Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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