I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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