I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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