I'm going to jail i love you
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
