Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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