i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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