I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
