I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
