I skipped work to stalk him.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
