if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I deserve to be covered in dicks
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
