have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
