3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
