why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
