So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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