You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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