All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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