If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
