He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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