I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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