quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
