Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
