Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
