I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
sex in a hospital.. check
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
