She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
