why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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