I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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