I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
