3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible