I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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