The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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