I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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