i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
