just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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