I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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