what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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