Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
