based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
