I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
