I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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