I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
