How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
