Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize