So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
false alarm. still invincible.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
