Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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