apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i think i just lost a toe
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize