so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I want a musical about memes.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
