what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
