if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
