I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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