He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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