he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
