Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize