Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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