he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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