You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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