Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
