When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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