i wish my penis had a tongue
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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