I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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