What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dear god my vagina.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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