what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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