thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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