Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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