fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
