I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
