dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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