if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
