i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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