I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question