So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
