He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.