I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
