I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza