that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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