I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack