As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize