You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He? As in you personified your dick?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
