Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
