He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
