I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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